redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize