Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
