I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This toilet bowl is my home.
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