And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
