I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
