We're facebook friends in real life
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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