i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
