do herpes really smell.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
