There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
