no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
