If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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