Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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