i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
