Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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