Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
