That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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