so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
