God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
