Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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