Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
They took my balls.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
