just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
