would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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