If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
FUCK WHALES
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