Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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