a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Two words: nipple clamps
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