My hair reeks of homosexuality.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
