I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
