I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm like, not good at living.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
