some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
where does the pee come out of this thing
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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