She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
