are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
