you traded sex for a burrito?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
