kristin has been a bad kristin
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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