the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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