Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
