Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
