i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
