dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had to coat check the pizza.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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