I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
