Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
