I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I supernannyed him into submission
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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