i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
