are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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