She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
