I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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