As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
