I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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