I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
