why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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