That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
