well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
