You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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