I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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