Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize