Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
