Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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