dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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