the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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