i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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