you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
