okay pat passed out under dana's car
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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