end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
