How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
