I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
